Feb 15: Bothersome. (aka bad day, sour writing.)

Today was not that great a day. I don't really want to go into detail, I'd much rather prefer to just write the day off as a loss. Here's the basics though, so nobody asks later:

-last night sucked. Everyone got in a group to hangout and party in a different room. Earlier in the night I had caught people discussing it, asked if they would come get me if people were hanging out. I got 4+ people to say they would. An hour or two later I could clearly hear them across a hall and behind closed doors, livin' it up. I took it as a snub and sulked which I figured out was probably dumb later, but still resented everyone for it slightly.

-Right before going to bed I found out about the Sandpit, basically a get-together and do group games like tag and glow in the dark dodgeball and stuff for London youth, that would double as a 'challenge' project for my theatre class. I got really excited, only to find out this morning that I was totally vetoed by my prof. Apparently, someone had already picked that for their challenge, and even though we would probably have utterly different experiences of the event, I couldn't use it as my project.

-I was hoping to go see The Misanthrope, a play by Molliere currently in the West End with Keira Knightley's debut theatre onstage performance. Pity then that the only tickets left available for the run require me to stand in the very back of the 4th floor balcony for 2hours 10min. Not exactly the way to watch a depressing pointless play where the only reason anyone is going is for Keira.

-I went to go watch a youth theatre thing for an hour at the National Theatre called Crunch. It was really cool, super moving and insightful, written and performed by a bunch of students getting ready to apply to university about how they tried to figure out the financial crisis, what happened, and what it meant for them. I liked it a lot, but the downside was that I went back to worrying super hard about money again. If it wasn't for the fact that the Disneyworld thing is already bought and paid for and I need those internships over the summer, and that I'm already so close to graduating from LC...well, I don't know what I would do, I just know I'd do my best to stop spending money.

Basically, what I learned today is that planning is no longer going to work. Anything I plan or look forward to or prepare for goes up in flames. Instead, I'm trying to learn to listen to my impulses and instincts. I currently have a variety of cookies, chocolate, ice cream, and my favorite cider in my room so I don't feel the need to go out to a pub or spend money on expensive spontaneous treats (except maybe on more dim sum.)

So, following the National Theatre thing, I whimsically decided to walk along the south bank of the Thames and across Waterloo bridge to a different tube station, wander the V&A museum for awhile, and to make a casserole tonight to kill a few hours. I thought about going to the Natural History, but it's mid-break or something so the lines were disgusting and weird and I didn't want to deal with it.

Unfortunately, I had to wait to use the stove for the casserole, since there's a lot of people and only four burners and I need three plus the oven to make food. This meant, in turn, that I had to plan for an hour or so before beginning my casserole. This also was subject to reaffirming my new "go off instincts not planning" approach.

The casserole never finished cooking. I burned the vegitables, the broccoli didn't thaw fast enough, the cheese was lumpy and didn't melt entirely, and even after being in the oven at a higher temperature it was supposed to be for over two hours (as opposed to teh recipie's half hour) it never fully cooked and remained soupy and was just bland and no good. Hopefully egg will make it taste better later this week since it's what I've got to eat till Thursday, but egh. I think I need to give up on using the ovens here.

Hopefully tomorrow will make up for today as it has the potential to begin with free pancakes, depending upon if I wake up on time. Probably won't since it's late and I'd like more than 7 hours of sleep, but we'll see.